Help: I love my date but I kinda wanna explore my personal options – HelloGigglesHelloGiggles

Dear Sarah,

I have been in an exclusive commitment for a-year . 5. I’m thus crazy about this person it aches inside my bones. I will be certain they are my personal soulmate. I am therefore pleased once I’m with him, and that I like to marry him one day. However, I hold imagining living having two various routes.

One road is actually marrying him and being pleased forever. Simultaneously, I’m only 17, and I also keep feeling like i wish to go out and party and possess interactions together with other individuals. I want to end up being separate as I go off to school this fall, and hug arbitrary folks and never bother about it! I want my personal to see my personal wild area! Yet another thing is actually, I have at long last come to terms with my personal pansexuality. I have just ever before already been with
cis-males
and I feel just like i am passing up on checking out.

But, my soul would break
without my personal present sweetheart
! I like him much and want to be with him. He’s got assisted me through numerous family and medical and health factors—he’s not simply my date, he is my personal finest buddy. The guy really likes me just as much as I love him. I understand with him I will be delighted until death-do-us-part. But, i will be worried i am going to feel dissapointed about maybe not experimenting in school. Is it just a situation of thinking “the turf is environmentally friendly on the other hand”? Just how do I know very well what accomplish?

—The Grass is actually Greener from Ohio

Dear Grass is actually Greener,

Generally, I really don’t attempt to foresee tomorrow, however in this case i will dust off my personal crystal ball. Suppose you decide to be faithful and dedicated to the man you’re dating as soon as you allow for college. We look at mists in the crystal golf ball swirling….I’m picturing you at a celebration high in your new pals about 8 weeks to your freshman year….Music is pounding, folks are having intensive conversations about the brand-new, interesting, issues these are generally discovering, everybody’s sight tend to be brilliant and cheeks flushed with pleasure and urgency….The mists obvious so there you may be in one celebration, hitting it well with someone brand-new. Move guilt, rips, fury, feelings of self-loathing,
cheating possibly
—all of which could have been averted.

What I’m attempting to say would be that even though you may have incredibly strong emotions for the guy and you will probably go-off to university most abundant in diamond-hard and clear motives to remain collectively forever and become correct, the reality that you have got every one of these some other (entirely legit) yearnings, shows that the likely to be near impractical to keep who promise. Here is a concern: Maybe, only perhaps, is actually desiring keeping your BF on lockdown if you’re out partly given that it allows you to feel safer venturing out to the globe for the first time?

I would suggest, even though it
feels counter-intuitive and unpleasant
while you are madly in love, which you have the ‘big talk’ about getting allowed to see other folks. I am aware, it sucks. However, you can re-commit once you see each other during cold weather break if it seems appropriate, however cannot take back betraying your absolute best friend/soulmate/boyfriend should you decide finish dropping. Additionally, when you yourself have a really truthful, open-hearted dialogue, you could be amazed to learn your own BF is experiencing likewise torn.

Really Love, Sarah

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